Pageant Mom “Right and Wrongs”, Child Beauty Pageants

Written By Dr. Stephanie Raye

I posted this link on  “Pageant mum enters rival daughters into 70 pageants to toughen them up” to FaceBook recently and asked “What do you think this mom is doing right (or wrong) with her daughters’ pageant experiences?”  Let’s look at it a bit more closely.  And there’s a LOT to look at here, so I’ll just post a few points now. I’ll post a few more tomorrow and the next day. :-)

Right: Encouraging pageant participation if the girls want to do it.  Wrong: Forcing them to compete. Yes, sometimes we have to “make” children try somethings a couple times to get them to try new things (and maybe like them). But don’t push too hard or too often.

Right: Waiting until the girls are old enough to say if they liked it. Wrong: Thinking age two is old enough for them to be able to communicate that well.

Right: Pointing out that we may not win each time. Wrong: Suggesting that winning is just waiting for a “turn”.  Winning should be about the skill of the contestant and how well they fit the image of the “winner” the judges have in mind for that title.

Right: Teaching self-care and self-respect.  Wrong: Focusing only on beauty and glamour.  There is more to self-care than beauty and more to self-respect than trophies and titles.  The girls could be involved in something intellectual and/or charitable to be well-rounded humans. And if they are serious about pageants then one day down the road, they’ll want to enter a pageant with a “platform” or that requires community experience.

Right: Encouraging competition to build confidence, poise, and “toughness”. Wrong: Suggesting one daughter is better than the other based on the results of a competition (or overall number of wins). It’s important to limit “best” comparisons to that pageant on that day.

Stay tuned for more Rights and Wrongs on child beauty pageants, at least as related to this article, tomorrow.